Eighteen Life Lessons I learned in Eighteen Years
Eighteen Life Lessons I learned in Eighteen Years
By: Ela Mae Jetigan
Turning eighteen was a scary happening in my life. Eighteen equated to bigger responsibilities, higher standards and expectations, and what’s worse, the belief of everybody else that when you turn eighteen, you will have everything figured out on yourself for you are a young adult now. But in reality, you feel lost in the transition and you end up questioning if you’re really ready to live at all.
Well, you are. I have been scared that I am not, too, but life goes on and one thing we could do is to keep on moving and holding on. Here are the life lessons I wish my younger self knew before I turned 18:
1. Life does not start at eighteen. And it did not start five years ago or five years into the future. It starts whenever you realize that living life is a daily journey in which we go on through. It was so easy for me to think that everything will just fall into place when I’m already 18, yet it didn’t. If life for you hasn’t started yet, I ask you to start living now. It may be your last chance.
2. It is your responsibility to love yourself. I mean this to say that you should never ask or beg for love. I will say it again, don’t. Your worth and your value is yours to own thereby determining how you allow others to treat you. The only person who would understand the unique person that you are is you. Other people, even your partner or your loved ones, are already caught up in understanding and valuing themselves as well. Besides, there is truth in the saying that you can only love others best if you love yourself first.
3. Your growth will take time. Be kind and gentle to yourself in this season of discovering who you truly are. Invest time in knowing what your limitations and weaknesses are but focus on what defines you. If you’re good in singing, make use of that gift that has been given to you. If what you do best is growing a plant and making it blossom to its best, then go do it. Never mind if others are better or lesser than you. And don’t worry if it takes too long until you see yourself succeeding in a certain field, remember, nobody sows a seed to dig it open every day. Your growth will come with consistency and effort.
4. Believe in yourself. This may sound like the most cliché thing you have ever heard, I mean, like it’s always on every advice for self-help that will ever exist. But sometimes in life, we forget the most basic thing we can do. Believing in yourself is the most powerful weapon you could ever possess in all this life. Besides, you already win half the battle if you just have that little faith that you will reign victorious. Right?
5. Success will look different for everyone. And that’s not easy to grasp. In school, we were brought together with the same standard and expectations even if we are so much different from each other. That’s why, over the years, unhealthy competition and comparison built up between the people around us. But we should be able to realize that everyone’s success and dreams will look different and it should be our priority to not fall back from our own goals and expectations so we could conform to someone else’s standards. If success calls you to become a writer instead of a scientist, heed it. If success calls you to be a family-centered woman instead of a career one, go for it. Life for you will never be miserable if you go for what you truly want.
6. Allow yourself to be a beginner. If there is something that you badly want to do, like painting or studying a really difficult subject, remind yourself that it is okay to suck at it. Not everyone has the ability to succeed in just one try, except if you’re a born genius.
7. “Plan for your future, but dance in the present.” Maybe instead of being so hard and so strict to yourself, you can try enjoying yourself a little more. Only when we’re old can we truly realize that youth is wasted on the young.
8. Stay healthy. Us staying fit and healthy during these times of our lives will make our older selves grateful to the favor that we are giving them. Incorporate routines for your physical, emotional and mental wellbeing. Make it a priority to eat healthily. Not only is it a guarantee that you will not be vulnerable to certain lifestyle disorders but you will also feel good about your own body. That is already hitting two birds with one stone.
9. It’s okay to fail most of the time. And you don’t have to be too hard on yourself for failing. Instead, make it an avenue of your growth: analyze where you went wrong and then do it all over again. And again, and again, until you become so good at it. The fear of failure is what limits the majority of us.
10. It is necessary to rest but it is your choice to give up. The grind culture in our society has imposed strict standards that we should always work, work and work. Yet the essentiality of resting is often overlooked. Because of this, we, young people, easily get burned out and our motivation decreases as well. So in order for our productivity to be stable, we should give ourselves rest constantly.
11. Read more. Reading anything that has letters and words on it not only makes us more knowledgeable on any aspect but it stimulates our brain to keep having that thirst for knowledge. In any other way, we owe our education to ourselves and we can’t ask anybody to do it for us.
12. Guard your heart. For it is the wellspring of our lives. Always seek to understand your emotions and feelings before diving into a scenario with uncertainty. And do not let anyone have domination over your own heart because when that happens, we are leaving our lives in jeopardy.
13. Don’t settle for less in love. Love will come around when it’s time. So until that time comes, be patient and don’t go about scratching and scarring your heart in relationships that are just a waste of time, energy and resources. Until you’re ready, devote everything you are to yourself, your family, your friends, and your dreams. Love will just find you when you least expect it. And always remember, do not date to pass the time, instead, date to marry and love.
14. Empathize and listen more. Life is not just about yourself. In reality, there are so many interesting stories strangers can share to you! So look around you, talk to people and engage in a conversation with them. Who knows, you are just about the ears that they really needed.
15. Always return back the favor graced upon you. Wherever you are in life, remember all the people who made an impact to make you be where you are. You won’t be anywhere at all without them.
16. Respect everything with life. Respect people with different social status, tribes, races and religions and also respect every organism that has life. We are called to be stewards of everything in this world, yes?
17. Do everything with love. Understand people that is hard to love even if that means humbling yourself down before them. Once you do everything with love, you don’t think of a certain task as just a mere task anymore. You won’t think of the other person’s pride anymore. You will just be filled with the love you have to offer that everything becomes so much easier to do. And lastly,
18. Keep the faith. Understand that as a mere human being, life could be so difficult to sail. But we could anchor ourselves to the one true and living God. It still wouldn’t be easy, I swear it won’t, but your heart will be filled with hope. Your uncertainty to belief. And the death and brokenness to life and freedom. So go on, live the life not for yourself, but for God.
Before this takes an end, let me just remind you of a quote that really changed my perspective in life. Mark Twain, a famous American writer, once said: “The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.” And I hope that you already know why you were born. And if you haven’t yet, I hope today is the day you will.
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